My Totally Subjective, Short Reviews of All The Movies I Saw In 2013

Have I mentioned I work at a movie theatre? It's just like what you'd expect--low pay, grubby work, and one awesome perk: free movies. I hereby present a list of all the movies Brendan and I saw in 2013, with some words or, shall we say, reviews.

Yay=good
Eh=mediocre
Boo=bad

P.S. There will be spoilers. Beware.

January-

• Mama: Boo. They basically give up the little girl to the nasty ghost at the end! Come on. Wouldn't she rather grow up and be alive than be a flurry of moths hanging out with ghost? I think she would have gotten over her obsession with Mama.
• Hansel and Gretel: Boo. I don't even really remember why boo, except I remember thinking it was stupid.
• Movie 43: Yay and eh and boo. This movie was a series of shorts, and some were funny, others stupid. 

February-

• Warm Bodies: Yay! It's a retelling of Romeo and Juliet, with zombies! 
• Identity Thief: Eh. I wouldn't exactly recommend against seeing it, if it happens to be on a cross-country flight (do they still do movies on cross-country flights?) or something like that, but it's not particularly great.
• Side Effects: Eh, mostly because I can't really remember not liking it.
• Safe Haven: Eh. Cobie Smulders is a ghost! 
• Beautiful Creatures: Yay! This movie has an indie-movie quality I love, and that kid who plays the male lead is just so adorable, you can't help but fall for him. 
• Snitch: Eh. Again, not exactly a bad movie. 

March-

• 21 & Over: Eh. I would give this movie a boo except they filmed it in the U-District and on the University of Washington campus and Basil Harris is in it! I know him.
• Jack the Giant Slayer: Eh? That's a little stronger than "eh" but not as strong as "yay." It's got the actor from About A Boy in it, all growed up! 
• Oz, The Great And Powerful: Boo! I wanted to like this movie, but Oz was just a jerk and why did they need an average human jerk to save them when they had magic and stuff? I do not believe being spurned by Oz would make Theodora go all Wicked Witch--he just wasn't worth it and she barely knew him. I don't remember all the eloquent thoughts I had right after seeing the movie, but I think it really bugged me that Oz himself never really had a redemptive moment. He's a jerk to the very end. (Okay, yes, he helps them, but that doesn't make him stop being a jerk.)
• The Call: Boo. This movie was just ridiculous. Mostly the ending. 
• The Incredible Burt Wonderstone: Eh. It was kind of stupid and I didn't believe for a second that the Olivia Wilde character would hook up with the Steve Carrell character, but it had a couple funny moments.
• The Croods: Boo. I liked some things about this movie, but I especially hate when children's movies perpetuate negative stereotypes and unrealistic ideals. An obvious example is when the more advanced cave guy is teaching them how they can safely walk across rocks. The grandma and the daughter go crazy over this new concept: shoes! 'Cause women go crazy over shoes! Bleh. Later, and more insidious, the mom's hair goes from crazy, sticking straight up, to straight and hanging down after she walks through a rainforesty type place, and it's associated with positive change. 
• Olympus Has Fallen: Boo. Amurica! Where the president gives up nuclear codes, endangering the lives of millions, to save his friends. 
• The Host: Eh. Unmemorable.
• The Place Beyond the Pines: Yay! This was a beautiful movie, beautifully told, beautifully acted. 

April-

• Evil Dead: Yay. It didn't have the wacky of the old ones, but it payed homage to them nicely. 
• 42: Eh. Good to learn some history I hadn't really known about, but otherwise no strong feelings. A minor thing that annoyed me was at the end when his wife is leaving the baby with the sitter and the music is ominous, so you think something bad is going to happen to the baby. Don't worry, the baby is fine.
• Oblivion: Boo. As of 1/8/14, this movie's status has been downgraded from "eh" to "boo." See my friend Anthony's comment for the reason why.
• The Big Wedding: Boo. God, April was a long time ago. I seem to remember not liking that it just kind of glossed over adultery.

May-

• Iron Man 3: Yay. Entertaining and fun. 
• The Great Gatsby: Eh. I liked the spectacle of the first two-thirds or so of the movie. That one big party scene was really fun. 
• Peeples: Eh. It was kind of funny.
• Star Trek: Into Darkness: Eh. Maybe even boo. I remember really liking the first one. I don't remember exactly why I didn't like this one, but I recall a really unbelievable fight scene and sexism.
• Epic: Eh. I so wanted this movie to be epic. The trailers made it seem like it would be. It was okay...but definitely not epic. 
• Fast & Furious 6: Boo. If you like car chases, this is for you. Only for you.
• Now You See Me: Eh. It was fun to watch the tricks, but not so much fun to watch the movie. The camera work could make you sick.
• After Earth: Boo. Poor acting, not so great story. 

June-

• Much Ado About Nothing: Yay. The one movie we paid money to see all year, because it never came to my theatre. Love the director, love the actors, so it was fairly inevitable I'd love the movie...but it doesn't get an exclamation point after the yay because I didn't love love it. 
• Man of Steel: Eh. I really liked the second half of the beginning of the film, which had that indie-movie quality I love, but then it was boring action sequence after boring action sequence.
• This is the End: Yay. This movie gets a yay because I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. It was way funnier than I thought it would be.
• World War Z: Eh. It had a couple very memorable scenes, like him cutting the girl's arm off or facing off with that creepy tooth-clicking zombie, but was otherwise just okay.
• Monsters University: Eh. 
• The Heat: Yay-ish. I really like Sandra Bullock comedies, and Melissa McCarthy is super funny, and I thought they had good chemistry. But they were also power-abusing cops.
• White House Down: Yay. Like Olympus Has Fallen, but better! Maybe because that's the bar I was comparing it to, it gets a yay and really deserves an eh. But hey, it was just like that other crappy movie, but had humor, better acting, and a more interesting villain. And the cute kid was a smart and scrappy girl rather than a boy.

July-

• Despicable Me 2: Eh. It was kind of cute, but should have had more of the girls. They're way cuter than the minions.
• Pacific Rim: Eh. I went into this movie with high expectations, but it disappointed. The acting was so-so and the script sucked. The special effects were cool, though.
• Fruitvale Station: Yay! Not an easy movie to watch, but so well done and so worth the challenge.
• R.I.P.D.: Eh. Maybe boo. Hardly remember it, so that doesn't speak too well of it, right?
• The Conjuring: Yay. Yay on a scary movie scale, which is a different scale than for regular movies. I thought the acting and the pacing were good, and it scared me. 
• Red 2: Eh. Once I got over how casually people were killed, I was able to find some funny moments.
• The Wolverine: Eh. 
• The To-Do List: Eh. I loved that it was set in the early nineties. That was when I watched Full House, put pictures of Jonathan Taylor Thomas on my walls, and used scrunchies. Good times. But I was expecting a better film, so I was kind of disappointed.

August-

• Elysium: Boo. Implausible. Jodie Foster's stilted acting bugged me. Why were those greedy bastards hoarding the medbots or whatever they were called when there were obviously plenty of them to go around? Seemed like a land where everyone could be happy and healthy, so it didn't really make sense that they were hoarding all the goods up in the sky.
• We're The Millers: Eh. I was kind of expecting to hate this movie, so the fact that it elicited no super strong feelings and made me laugh a couple times gives it an eh.
• The Butler: Yay. Any movie that makes me cry pretty much automatically gets a yay because it means I'm invested. See exception at the end of this month. But The Butler made me care and kept me interested. Good acting, you actors, you.
• The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones: Eh. Why just eh? Why didn't this movie strike me in a similar way as Beautiful Creatures? I don't know, exactly, but it just didn't.
• You're Next: Boo, and yet, it was pretty funny if you don't mind movies that are funny because of how bad they are. As the daughter prepares to run outside and get help, you can't help laughing at how stupid it is, and then you feel kind of bad because you can't help laughing that she sliced her throat open on the trip wire THAT OF COURSE WAS THERE.
• The World's End: Eh. Another case of having high expectations and the movie not quite living up to them. I mean, I liked it. Maybe I should give it a yay. Okay, fine, it gets a yay, but no exclamation point. I just didn't think it was as funny as the other Simon Pegg/Nick Frost/Edgar Wright collaborations I've seen. 
• The Grandmaster: Yay. I thought this was a very beautiful film. 
• Instructions Not Included: Eh. Here's the exception. This movie made me cry at the end because it totally surprised me that it was the little girl dying, not the dad! WTF! I felt like it was yanking at my heartstrings in a very inappropriate way. If it hadn't had that ending, it probably would have gotten a yay.

September-

• Insidious Chapter 2: Yay. I didn't like it as much as The Conjuring, but considering I worked in the highest rated maze ever at Halloween Horror Nights 2013, and it was based on this movie and its predecessor, I just have to give it a yay. 
• Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2: Yay. It was super colorful and I really liked that. The food creatures were really cute, too. That was enough for me.
• Don Jon: Yay. Another case of I went in not expecting much, and was pleasantly surprised. I didn't necessarily believe that the character would change the way he did, but I liked that he did. 

October-

• Gravity: Eh. I was totally immersed in space, but it totally freaked me out. It didn't make me go, yay, space is so awesome! Rather, shit, space is the scariest place ever. So yes, I got into the movie, but I didn't really like the experience. And it was pretty heavy-handed. Her coming out of the water, like a rebirth, after she's made this decision to fight for life? Eh. And it really bothered me that there were water splatters on the camera lens for the final shot. How am I supposed to feel in it if I feel like there's a camera between Sandra and me? She was good, but I like her comedic roles better.
• Carrie: Eh. It wasn't bad. 

November-

• About Time: Boo. I wanted to like this movie, but I really hated how stupid it was. He can travel through time, at will, and for him "It was always about love." Bleh. I don't buy it. If he could really travel in time like that, he should have had a much more interesting life. And then there's the scene where he TAKES HIS SISTER WITH HIM TIME TRAVELING. He can TAKE other people with him time traveling! But he never tells his wife he can time travel or takes her time traveling! What an ass. 
• Dallas Buyers Club: Yay. The acting was incredible. 
• Thor: The Dark World: Yay. I just really like the Avengers, what can I say?
• The Best Man Holiday: Eh. Some of the characters are about to topple off their moral high ground, while others bow down to those on the pedestal. Had some funny moments, but the Christian proselytizing bothered me. 
• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire: Yay-ish. I read the books and enjoyed them all right, and I'm having the same experience with the movies. I thought this one was fast-paced and entertaining.
• Delivery Man: Eh. It was all right.
• Frozen: Yay. I loved the music and the snowman was hilarious. Kristen Bell, too.
• Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom: Yay. A good overview of the life of Nelson Mandela. 

December:

• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: Boo. Not boo because it was such a bad movie, but boo because I didn't think it was nearly as good as people kept telling me it was. I think this is the issue--I keep comparing The Hobbit movies to The Lord of the Rings movies. LOTR had such a great cast and you really felt like the characters cared about one another. In The Hobbit, I don't get that feeling at all. Poor Bilbo. He doesn't have a Sam. 
• Saving Mr. Banks: Yay. I really liked this movie. No idea how much of it was accurate or how much rosier a picture they painted of Walt Disney than was true, but I got totally immersed in the film, so much so that nearly peed my pants because I didn't want to miss anything. That happened in Mandela too, by the way. 
• The Secret Life of Walter Mitty: Yay. Not quite a yay with an exclamation point, which I was expecting to have, but a yay nonetheless. This movie really made me want to travel. I guess I just wish the only breaks with reality had actually been in Walter Mitty's imagination. The dating website guy being able to call him everywhere was just overly cutesy, and the bad guy was comically jerky (in a bad way). And the shark scene...it just didn't really add anything. Now, the amazing things he did that were difficult but that I could believe, like hiking through Afghanistan to find the photographer and seeing a snow leopard--those moments were beautiful. Also Brendan noted that the female characters only represented home and stability, and were never a part of the adventures. 

69 films in total. Aw, yeah. 

Comic-Con: How to Avoid Waiting in Lines

It's pretty easy to avoid waiting in lines at Comic-Con. Just pick panels with titles like "All Shapes and Sizes Welcome: Body Image and Women's Issues in the Entertainment Industry." I'm being tongue-in-cheek, but it is true we didn't have to wait in line to attend this panel, whereas we had to wait an hour to attend "What's New with Magic: The Gathering." And even that was nothing compared to the hardcore Comic-Con attendees who wait overnight to get into Hall H.

I wanted to attend the body image and women's issues panel because Brendan and I are interested in these things and I hoped the panel would offer some interesting new insights. I was overall disappointed with the panel. I felt like the panelists were too easily sidetracked by irrelevant points, case in point when panelist Adrianne Curry went off on a weird tirade about gay fashion designers. However, it did raise some good questions and when I further researched some of the panelists, I came to the conclusion that they are interesting and insightful women who are doing something really admirable simply by having a panel like this. The important thing that they're doing, and what I want to do, is raise a dialogue.

One of the panelists, Helenna Santos-Levy, talked about a debate she got into with her mother that was sparked by high heels. Her mom compared high heels to foot binding, but the panelist argued that she liked them. They made her feel sexy.

So my question whenever I hear that high heels or makeup or A, B, or C other thing that women wear or do to alter their bodies in some way, is why? Why does something that hurts, or that is annoyingly time-consuming to apply, make us feel sexy? It turned out Helenna Santos-Levy had already written a whole blog post of her own about this on her website (which I recommend checking out) Ms. In The Biz, titled Sex Pots, Strippers, and Lady Parts...Oh My!

In this blog, she asks, "Why do 3 inch heels that are hell to walk in or even stand in for that matter, make me feel sexy and powerful?" Her answer is simple: "Well, we still live in a male dominated culture."

Yes. And I would add that we live in an advertising dominated culture.These things combined wreak havoc not just on women's body image, but on our collective society's body image.

I spent my teenage years wanting little more than to be beautiful and have a boyfriend. I bought teen fashion and beauty magazines and read books about how to apply makeup. By the time I was in my twenties,  I habitually wore makeup. Nothing too crazy. Just a little foundation, pressed powder, a touch of eyeliner, and some mascara. But eventually I realized something: "It was dictating my self-worth." I'm quoting another great Ms. In The Biz blog by Holly Elissa, titled My Social Experiment: Cosmetics and Women's Worth. She came to that conclusion about the makeup she wore, and the blog is about how she went to a Hollywood event with no makeup on.

When I came to that conclusion, it was in large part because a smart man who eventually became my husband asked me why. Why did I wear makeup? Why did I shave? The surface answer was that it made me feel attractive. But why did it make me feel attractive? Why didn't I feel attractive just as I was?

There's a quote I love, love, love from Crimethinc. Ex-Workers' Collective. "Beauty must be defined as what we are, or else the concept itself is our enemy."

I stopped wearing makeup and shaving when I realized I didn't have a good answer for why shaving and wearing makeup made me feel more attractive. I didn't like the answer I realized was true, which was that I'd bought into the lies advertisers and society were feeding me. That I needed to "enhance" my face. That hairless skin is normal and hair is gross. That society's idea of beauty is some sort of attainable ideal that I should be striving towards.

Fuck that.

I often have to remind myself of that quote. I am still affected by advertising. I don't wear tank tops as often as I probably would if I shaved my pits. But then I go to the hairy pits club on Tumblr and read cool blogs like this one and I'm reminded that I'm not the only one trying to rebel against societal pressures.

I feel like this is where I often see disclaimers on other blogs that the authors are not judging other people who choose to do A, B, or C that the author is talking about. And I get that. I don't want to judge, either. We're all figuring this shit out as we go along. But I do want to question, and I want you to question. You shave? Ok. But why do shave? Why did you start shaving in the first place? I started because of my older sister, which I wrote about here. Do you think you would still want to shave if you weren't inundated by advertisements featuring beautiful hairless people? What about makeup? Hell, let's talk bras. Why do you wear one? You may come to different conclusions than I did. That's cool. Let's talk about it. I'd love to know why.

It's been a process, training myself not to see my armpit hair as gross and to not feel unattractive without makeup. But I think it's totally worth it. I want to live as if society were the way I want it to be. I want to contribute to changing the norm.

*It has just been pointed out to me that it's hard to see links in my blog. I've changed the color scheme a bit so hopefully that won't be a problem anymore, but just in case you missed them, here's a list of all the links provided in this blog post:

• Helenna Santos-Levy's personal website: http://www.helennasantoslevy.com/
• Ms. In The Biz: http://msinthebiz.com/
• Helenna Santos Levy's blog post Sex Pots, Strippers, and Lady Part...Oh My!: http://msinthebiz.com/2013/05/30/sex-pots-strippers-lady-parts/
• Holly Elissa's blog post My Social Experiment: Cosmetics and Women's Worth: http://msinthebiz.com/2013/07/19/my-social-experiment-cosmetics-and-womens-worth/
• Brendan Weinhold's IMDB page: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4590148/
• Crimethinc. Ex-Workers' Collective: http://www.crimethinc.com/
• hairy pits club on Tumblr: http://hairypitsclub.tumblr.com/
• An awesome blog post about a woman's decision to stop shaving: http://deconstructioncrafts.com/2012/05/10/why-i-stopped-shaving/?blogsub=confirming#blog_subscription-2
• My article about why I stopped shaving: http://stina-ann.hubpages.com/hub/Im-Done-Shaving-For-GoodI-think

Feminism on street corners, Part 2

After rereading my last blog post, I realized a couple things I should have made clearer. One, the post was inspired by this blog in The Guardian by Jinan Younis. Jinan Younis is a teenager in England and the blog post is titled "What happened when I started a feminist society at school." It's a good article, and what happened to her and her classmates is horrifying. Read it. Be informed.

Two, this incident where the guy said "See you, baby" to me was not an anomaly. I'd estimate that I get some kind of comment, whistle, or hoot a couple times a week, usually when I'm bicycling, sometimes when I'm walking or taking public transit.

My friend Sebastian left an interesting comment on my previous post. Two of his female friends regularly deal with men they pass on the street telling them to smile. Sebastian lives in Magdeburg, Germany, and was our neighbor when we lived there for a year from 2009-2010. I recall this same thing occasionally happening to me during that time. It's wrapped in a less obvious package than a whistle or hoot, but it's still a man objectifying a woman. By not smiling, the woman is not fitting the man's fantasy Jinan Younis talks about in her blog, so he's trying to rectify that. 

I've mentioned that I like making people feel good. One way I've traditionally done this is by smiling at people when I pass them in the street. Lately I've felt like I've been hollered at by men less frequently than in the past, and I wondered why. I realized that I've stopped making eye contact and smiling at people as often as I used to.

This pisses me off. I should not have to stop smiling in order to stop receiving sexist comments. And no woman should have to start smiling in order to fit a man's image of what she should be.

My friend Kashena also left a good comment on my previous post. My favorite part: "Point is - even if it's uncomfortable, even if you feel like you're doing it 'wrong' - say something, because it's unlikely too many others will."

The other day at work I was carrying a largeish ladder. I had just finished cleaning port glass windows (I work at a movie theatre) and was going to put the ladder away. A young male co-worker saw me and said, "You shouldn't be carrying that! You need a man" and came running to my "rescue." I said "No, thanks, I'm doing just fine" and continued on my way. He insisted. I insisted. We awkwardly carried the ladder together the rest of the way down the hallway.

With my own desires to be more outspoken and Kashena's words of wisdom in mind, when my co-worker said "You're the reason chivalry is dead!" I responded with something along the lines of, "You know, I do have a problem with chivalry. I have a problem with the idea that men can do something and women can't. What I would be fine with, however, is if you saw me carrying this ladder and said, 'Hey, that looks heavy, can I help you with it?'" He responded, "That's the same thing!" I said, "No, it's not. That's a co-worker helping a co-worker. Please remember that for next time, and thank you for your help."

I'll keep on carrying ladders and I'll probably continue to keep my guard up when I travel to and from work. It makes me angry that my smile is viewed as an invitation, but you know, if my lack of a smile helps to shatter some guy's fantasy that I'm just a pretty face, I guess that's one way I can communicate with total strangers on the street.

Feminism on street corners

I was bicycling home from the Hollywood Fringe Festival the other day and I stopped at a red light. There were a guy and a gal pedestrian waiting at the crosswalk. They appeared to be together. The light turned green and as I was taking off, the man looked at me and said "See you, baby."

A torrent of profanity-laced thoughts shouted through my lead, the gist being: Why the fuck are you talking to me? Am I your fucking baby? And if that woman with you is someone you whisper "baby" to in the middle of the night, then why the fuck are you looking at/talking to me? And just, why? Who do you think you are and who do you think I am?

I wanted to shout those things in his face. I would probably never actually do that. But what if I did? I imagine the response would be something like what happened to Jinan Younis when she responded to a group of men sexually harassing her and her friends. The men got pissed. As she says, "For those men we were just legs, breasts and pretty faces. Speaking up shattered their fantasy, and they responded violently to my voice."

How is a feminist to respond to the passing "hey baby"? Is there a way to respond that would promote healthy dialogue with the perpetrator? Usually I'm tempted to flip off the offending party and I don't do even that, but instead just ignore them and continue along my way. I don't feel it's my job to educate every jackass on the street, and I don't want to be met with violence. 

But I do want to teach the masses that it's not okay to objectify women. 

What a bold statement. Really, if I'm honest, I want the masses to be taught, and I'd like to lend my voice...but I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing. I'm afraid I'll sound stupid. I'm afraid I won't have an adequate response if I meet with opposition. I'm afraid of offending people or making them feel bad. 

That last one is huge for me. I'm "nice." I get told how nice I am all the time. And I court that opinion by always being helpful, always listening, never offending. And a big part of me is happy to be this way. I like making people feel good. I feel like it's a small way I help make the world a better place. (Aren't I sanctimonious? Of course it strokes my ego to be told I'm nice. Whatever. I'm human.) But sometimes the person on the receiving end of my listening ear says something like, "Well of course we women expect men to treat to us to fancy dinners--do they know how much effort it takes to look like this?"

Too often I let it slide. I don't know exactly how to respond, so I just offer a "huh." In my head, "huh" means "I disagree with what you're saying but don't know how to phrase it or am afraid of offending you or making you feel bad for what you just said." I think in other people's heads "huh" is taken as affirmation of whatever they're saying. So I should probably work on that if I want to be a part of this dialogue. 

I guess that's why I'm writing this. 

I want to promote open and healthy dialogue about all the shit women face. I want to talk about body image and being a minimum wage worker and armpit hair and how to respond to undesired compliments and all kinds of fucked up and wonderful shit. 

So let's do this.

A few things I love about Los Angeles...

...as told through a mini photo diary entry. 

Dear Diary,

You know what's super cool? We live in a city where there are things most people consider "destinations." Like The Ellen DeGeneres show, and Universal Studios. We bought a day and got year passes, and that actually makes sense for us!

There's this cool thing called CicLAvia, where miles of streets are closed to vehicle traffic and open to pedestrian and bicycle traffic. Brendan and I rode Venice Boulevard all the way to the ocean, along with all these other bicyclists! 

The ocean.

Sometimes I see people I recognize and I'm like, where do I know that person from? Then I'm like, BECAUSE THEY'RE FAMOUS. Like Stephnie Weir, who was performing an improv set at the same time Brendan was performing an improv set during the LA Improv Comedy Festival at iO West.  

I've been watching the flower grow out of this plant for the past, oh, six months or so. It finally started blooming about a month ago, and it just continues its slow roll. How neat is that?

Love,
Stina

Auto Vs Bicycle

I got hit by a car when riding my bike home from work Thursday night. And what with the way the planets collide, or align, or whatever, it just so happened that I got hit by a car shortly after losing my helmet. And that happened because I accepted a ride from a friend one night when I really should have just ridden my bike home. Ah, choices.

That scary sounding fracture is just my cheekbone, which will heal on its own. Now that a few days have passed since the accident, the broken cheekbone is probably the most annoying of my injuries, because it means I can't chew as thoroughly as I like to. And if there's one thing you should know about me, it's that I like to chew (Interesting Stina Fact #1).

I went for a little bike ride today, the first one since I got hit. At first I was going to walk to the store, then I realized part of the reason I was going to walk was because I was a little bit askeered to ride my bike. So I decided to ride my bike. Brendan and I both got new helmets yesterday, so my tender noggin was protected, have no fear.

As I was riding, I thought about how accidents really suck. You can be doing everything right, riding safely, with headlight and taillight flashing, not running a single red light like all those other bicyclists you see, and out of the blue you get hit. And you can't even remember anything about it to know whether or not you could have done anything to avoid it.

I don't know who called 911. I don't know if someone had to pull me off the road or if I was able to move myself. The first thing I remember is a state of semi-consciousness in the ambulance. I was totally disoriented. Had no idea what day it was or what I had been doing or what was happening. An EMT asked me if I'd been drinking. (I hadn't. Remember? I was on my way home from work.)

By the time I was in the hospital, I remembered it was Thursday night/Friday morning and that I had been on my way home from work and that I had better call Brendan ASAP because he was probably freaking out. They scanned my head and X-rayed my arm (it's not broken) and I puked and worried about my glasses (they came through unscathed!). And then I got to go home and I spent the next two days sleeping. And now I'm mostly okay. I'm even picking at my scabs, that's how okay I am (okay, was picking at my scabs--I'm a good girl and I stopped because Brendan got really grossed out).

Moral of the story: Auto wins, but in a totally jerky way, so I'll still vote bicycle every time.